When the much traveled El Paso El Tacos touched down in Iowa City, no one knew quite what to expect. For a franchise that had been run out of just about every town they set foot in, fresh beginnings were nothing new. There was some brief success in the early years while in Memphis and Atlanta, even making the Series in Season 3, but those days were a distant memory now. Widely regarded as a perennial door map, the El Tacos, as they were briefly known, limped through Season 10, a sure victory for any opponent.
Enter Iowa City native and self made millionaire, J.P. Mazzoni, or Cactusmaz, as he is widely known. Mr. Mazzoni made his fortune turning rotten old cacti into a clean renewable energy source that now powers most of the Southwest. The process of Cactusification made him a beloved figure and folk hero throughout the region, giving “Cactusmaz,” the means to finally achieve his lifelong goal of bringing a team to Iowa City.
It wasn’t until traveling through Texas promoting Cactusification that Mazzoni would get his chance. It was a brief encounter with then El Paso owner Arthur Johnston, known widely as “Masterdeb8r.” (You see Johnston made his fortune on the now defunct online debating show “Deb8 This”) Johnston would bemoan the rigors of trying to run a baseball franchise. He had been talked into purchasing the team by his former manager Artie Fufkin, yes that Artie Fufkin, and he knew next to nothing about baseball. Johnston was an Oxford blue blood who was more familiar with polo than the Polo Grounds. But and opportunity to try and capitalize on his fame by owning an American baseball team was too much to pass up. Who could forget such disastrous promotional nights like “Cricket Night,” “God Save the Queen (K)night,” and the coronation of their mascot Jesus Taco. Not to mention the food at the stadium, one would think a team named the El Tacos would serve Mexican themed food. Not on Johnston’s watch though, Bangers and Mash were the order of the day. Needless to say Johnston was in over his head and this provided Mazzoni with the opportunity he had waited his whole life for. So a deal was struck and the El Tacos were whisked off to Iowa City to begin anew once again.
Upon arrival in Iowa City, Mazzoni knew he had his hands full. Here was a team that hadn’t sniffed success in 7 years. A culture of losing had been bred into this franchise that was going to take more than a new name and city to wash away. But it always starts with a name doesn’t it. Mazzoni appropriately chose the Twisters. Growing up in Tornado Alley, Mazzoni had vivid memories of the twisters that would wreak havoc throughout the Midwest. What better name for a team he hoped would eventually wreak havoc throughout the major leagues. A team he hopes will one day be known as “Middle America’s Team.”
Name in place, Mazzoni set out to put the best baseball people he could find on the field to help guide he’s newly minted franchise. Enter Jacob Sherman and former Boston Brown Sox pitching coach Randy Jones. Along with hitting coach Bobby Caufield, a holdover from the Tacos who Mazzoni took a shine to, he felt he had the right people in place to begin a turnaround. After filling out the coaching staffs on all levels with highly qualified veterans and newcomers the Twisters were ready to get rolling.
From the beginning of the season it wouldn’t be easy though. A new attitude had to be fostered and that meant some players would need to be brought in and others moved. Not being a big money team, Mazzoni is only a millionaire after all, not a billionaire like the owners of the Mounties, Quackers and Primetimers. Fiscal restraint would have to be part of the equation. Having made his fortune off of dried out cacti, Mazzoni knew a thing or two about turning the discarded into success.
The Twisters approached the free agent market with a keen eye and restraint, and landed themselves top closer Davey Baez. Baez has proved to be a welcome addition to the Twisters, and was even their loan representative in the All-Star game. He’s hit some hard times of late, having been shellacked in his last 3 appearances, blowing 2 saves and losing 2 games. He’s a pro though, and pitching coach Randy Jones is working to get his mechanics back on track. Baez was the kind of player Mazzoni was looking for to help turn this franchise around.
Being a Midwest boy, Mazzoni loved the St. Louis Cardinals of the now disbanded Major League Baseball Association. The teams of Herzog were his blueprint: speed, pitching, and defense. With this mindset the Twisters began to assemble a team of veterans and newcomers that embodied this credo. Overlooked players like Henry Moore, the sparkplug of the team. Veterans like Jerome McDonald and Santiago Vidal, cast off, thought past their usefulness. Rising stars like Tomas Alvarado, Flip Karl and King Campbell. And an assortment of overlooked and underappreciated gamers that “Cactusmaz” hopes to turn into another success story.
The Twisters have come a long way so far this season, but there’s still a lot of games left to be played. Much like their namesake, they’ve been a team of ups and downs. Streaky to say the least, but they’re toughing it out. Weathering the storm in hopes of bringing a winner to Iowa City, and if not this year, then maybe the next.
J.P. Mazzoni is in it for the long haul, his lifelong dream was to own a baseball team and he’s finally achieved it. For this self-made man from the Midwest, harsh conditions are no deterrent. It’s going to take a gust of wind not seen since the Wizard of Oz to knock him from his lofty goals. And maybe, just maybe, the Iowa City Twisters won’t just be Middle America’s Team, they’ll be the worlds.
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The drawback of a strategy of opposition to whatever your opponent proposes. . . Well done, Franken. We need a whole series of bills like this, that no sane person would possibly oppose, but the GOP will….